First Tracks
But the brochure said ...
My parents bought a funky little
condo, or townhouse I guess
they’re called now, at our ski
hill in 1969. The green shag carpet, orange
couch and assorted kitsch above the Franklin
fi replace, including the photo I took years ago
at an interview with Bob Denver, are timeless
reminders of all the good times we had growing
up skiing. If that shag could only talk….
One of the supreme bonuses of this place
is its slopeside location. Ski-to-the-door.
Sort of. You can ski away from the door, if
you commit to straightlining a very steep
and narrow gulley, hop assorted obstacles,
negotiate a ditch large enough to be now
used as a quarterpipe and so on. Skiing home
is something best left to the younger set or
those on rental skis. This requires building up
as much speed as possible on one of the hill’s
runouts (where the orange signs say “SLOW”)
and scooting across part of the sand-covered
(or muddy) parking lot, avoiding reversing
SUVs, bounding Labradors and such.
“Slopeside” and “ski-to-the-door” can
mean different things to different people.
A smiling, childless woman from a resort’s
marketing department admitted to me once
that “slopeside” in their rental pool meant
“within 400 metres” of the lift. 400 metres?
With two or three kids in tow, it’s more a
premise to some madcap Japanese TV show
with sweaty contestants going once around
the track wearing and carrying all their ski
gear, and most of their kids’.
Technical Editor Martin and I were talking
about this the other day after he had to hoof
it uphill along a dirty wet road from his “skito-
the-door” accommodation.
“Slopeside to me,” said Martin, as he
picked at small stones stuck in his ski boot
sole and brushed away at the highway salt
stains on his pants, “means you walk out the
door of the place, you put on your skis—and
you ski away.”
We mused over all sorts of lifts in ski
country that have been installed purely to
service accommodation rather than access ski
runs, and declared how much better the world
would be if we ran it.
Of course, slopeside isn’t a simple answer.
My buddy Leslie turns up her nose at ski-tothe-
door condo accommodation. “A keyed,
cold and empty entrance, all that taupe and
moose décor…so sterile. And bad carpet
dust!” said Leslie, who’s frequently seen
lounging in big leather chesterfields in hotel
lobbies where she’s not actually a guest. “I’d
far rather ski up to the hotel ski room and
leave my kit.”
I upped the ante with tales of the Grand
Hotel Portillo in Chile where ski lockers are
considered downright gauche. A valet takes
your skis and poles from you practically
where you’ve taken them off and, by the
second night of your stay, the ski boot guy
has memorized your footwear and hands you
your runners or dry ski boots, depending on
whether you’re coming or going. Now a hotel
service like that beats any hot stone massage.
But back to if I ran the world, ski valet
is a service that should be available at all
resorts where most or all accommodation
is off-hill or “in town.” What’s the big deal
about slopeside anyway? My most memorable
ski trips have always involved us staying offhill
in a genuine ski town rather than a resort
village. And the best of those trips involved
a simple slopeside service that allowed us
to leave our gear at the hill after which we
could dance out to the car or shuttle bus in
our runners. Whether it’s included in a hotel
charge or a skier is charged a nominal fee for
overnight ski and boot storage right at the
hill, it certainly requires a lot less space and
infrastructure than a locker room.
When I visit a ski area and I’m staying offhill,
I’ve been known to leave my dripping
gear in the management’s office for the night.
I’m not really there to press the flesh for the
magazine; I just don’t want to lug all my crap
out to the parking lot.